Steve and Lokita Carter are arguably the most successful Tantra teaching couple in the USA, having dedicated their lives and marriage to sharing their understanding and experience of Tantra. Since they began teaching in early 1999, they have inspired and changed the lives of over 14,000 people from all walks of life in over 300 workshops and vacation retreats.

Many people think that Tantra is quite exotic and uses complicated terminology from ancient languages, such as Sanskrit. Some people might be put off by this and put Tantra aside as something that’s definitely not for them. It is our mission to make the teachings of Tantra accessible to couples and singles from all walks of life, and hence we use languaging in our workshops and writings that most people are used to.

Going back to the basics can bear great gifts, especially in love and sex. Let’s remember some of the teachings mom gave us on our way. “Look into people’s eyes as you speak with them”, she said. “Be respectful to others. Listen carefully when someone talks with you”, she insisted. “And never interrupt.” This wisdom turns out to be quite useful, especially in our love relationships.

At Thanksgiving dinner the conversation at the family table came around to gratitude and everyone was asked to share what their most exciting experience had been this year. Mine was taking two weeklong water classes at Harbin. Having been an aquatic bodyworker for 11 years, these were my first classes in 6 years, and the exciting thing about them was getting back into the water.

So why is there so much emphasis on the sexual aspects of Tantra? Because we all want to be better lovers and have a great sex life. Sexual intimacy is one of the easiest ways to have a spiritual experience, to reach an altered state of consciousness. At the peak moment of sexual union, our minds disappear, we become truly one with each other, and enter into timelessness and divine union. Tantra teaches us how to reach those states again and again.

In the bedroom, most of us have (some more, some less) experienced the great moments when time and space disappear, and merely the togetherness of two lovers remains. At the moment of margining the bodies and souls together into the orgasmic flow, our gates open to a new dimension and we reach a state of altered consciousness. Thus I have found Tantra with my partner the easiest, the hardest and the most sacred form of spiritual practice.

Does Tantra help to achieve a full body orgasm? Can both men and women enjoy multiple orgasms? Does tantric lovemaking last longer? These questions are asked often by individuals who are starting on the tantric path, and they have as many answers as there are people asking it.

Tantra is a way to transform the ordinary into the sacred. Most people think of Tantra as a path of excess that revolves around fancy sexual positions and orgies. The truth is that only about 20% of tantric practices relate to sexuality. The remaining 80%, considered tantric arts, are concerned with “ordinary” aspects of life such as conversational skills, cooking, singing, exercising, mowing the lawn and so forth.

Recently, Steve and I got a powerful reminder about how precious it is to be alive. Our dear friend and fellow Tantra teacher Robert Frey unexpectedly passed away—he was an inspired, healthy and beautiful man in the prime of his life. We are grateful that he touched our hearts with his grace, his songs and his bright shine, and we send him off with love.

Tantric Rituals provide an excuse for playfulness, changing the atmosphere and making a special time together. A ritual can transform being with our mate into a sacred experience that is nourishing and heartwarming. It can be very simple, or very elaborate.

Tantra says that spirituality resides within the body and that the body’s gifts can be utilized to foster and attain spiritual clarity, ecstasy and fulfillment. Hence Tantra was passed on down the ages experientially and still continues to be taught in that way.

Before I knew about Tantra, I spent many a time lying in the arms of my lover wishing he would do this or that. Thinking that if only he did this, then things would be so much better for me. Conversely, I found myself wondering if he really liked what I gave to him, if I was fulfilling his sexual and sensual desires. Obviously, the communication channels were not particularly open, hence we both wasted a lot of time wondering about the other’s desires and needs.

The meaning of the word Tantra, derived from Sanskrit, is “to weave”. In the tantric lifestyle, we weave together all aspects of our lives into one harmonious whole. Work becomes a meditation, making love becomes our spiritual practice, the lover and the beloved melt into one.

Recently we attended the wedding of Wayne and Colette, a beautiful couple who have taken several of our seminars. For us, a wedding ritual is always an uplifting and joyous occasion, but what we experienced at this particular wedding was simply amazing, and it deeply touched our hearts.

Truthfully, I never thought that I would ever get married! Marriage seemed such a doomed relationship model with its “until death do us part” commitment, and the ironclad sexual contract. I was always a free spirit (still am, actually), exploring life and loving as a single woman, and within different couple styles.

In Margot Anand’s SkyDancing Tantra the most powerful premise is to transform sexual ecstasy into spiritual bliss. Just as with the experiment above, you can move the sexual energy consciously from the genital area, the first chakra, into the higher chakras to experience a blissful implosion of energy rather than an explosion in genital sexual orgasm.

One of Tantra’s premises is that we are perfect the way we are. Once we accept ourselves the way we are life gets easier and more ecstatic, and we make room for changes. The less we fight with who we are, the more opportunities we have to radiate who we really are. A Tantric Goddess is one who celebrates herself for who she is every moment.

You don’t have to be a yogi in order to experience sensational tantric sex! Any body posture that feels good and comfortable to both of you and gets your sexual energy flowing is a tantric sex position. One of the ideas in tantric sex is, as Margot Anand puts it, is to stay relaxed in high states of arousal. How can you be relaxed when you are uncomfortable?

In our workshops we have people from all walks of life – from Fortune 10 Vice Presidents to students, to lawyers, doctors, engineers. From couples who have been married for 30 years to singles; from scientists to artists; from housewives to actors; from devout Christians to atheists; aged 18 to 80; from type A personalities to flakes; of all color of skin, hair and languages. At a recent workshop we taught in New York City 17 nationalities were represented.