Ritual: Transforming the Ordinary into the Extraordinary
Lokita Carter

Let’s begin with Steve’s story. “When I began exploring Tantra, I had a girlfriend who was very much into rituals. Every time we would have a date, she would create a special atmosphere in her bedroom – velvet pillows, an abundance of scented candles, special massage oil, feathers etc. She would begin an elaborate recitation of poetry, wave feathers in the air and ring Tibetan temple bells. Then she’d expect me to do the same. After half an hour or so, I was getting bored and had only one thing in mind – when can we make love? I had huge resistance to ritual, and could not understand what was so special about it.

After a going through this resistance each time, I decided to give it a try, rather than resisting it. And to my great surprise I found that ritual is an excuse to change. By participating fully, I discovered that I actually like reciting poetry, and melting in the soft light of the candles. It creates an environment of tenderness and trust, and transforms the bedroom into an erotic temple.

Eventually I realized that I can use rituals throughout my day to transform the mundane into something meaningful, the ordinary into the extraordinary and to experiment with new things.”

A Tantric Ritual can be many things, limited only by your and your partner’s creativity. Any time you create a Tantric Ritual, you are allowing change in your life, and you are consciously setting time aside to do something different.

For many couples, time alone for intimacy and closeness is a rare gift. We are always busy with other things, seemingly more important than being close to our beloved. Relationships get difficult when there is not enough intimacy and understanding of each other. We grow apart, we get angry, and we are not fulfilled. Just a little time for the relationship each week can make a significant difference to its well-being and our love life.

Tantric Rituals provide an excuse for playfulness, changing the atmosphere and making a special time together. A ritual can transform being with our mate into a sacred experience that is nourishing and heartwarming. It can be very simple, or very elaborate.

The simplest form of tantric ritual we know is the Heart Salutation. As you bow to each other, you honor and bow to the divine in our partner, connecting our bodies, minds and spirits together, and signifying the beginning and end of sacred time and tantric practice.

The Heart Salutation can be done again and again. It creates an instant connection with yourself and your partner and brings your awareness to the present moment. And you don’t only have to use this when beginning or ending your special tantric practice – we like to do it each time before and after lovemaking before we get up in the morning.

The Heart Salutation is a very simple yet powerful tool to bring around closeness and awareness. And isn’t that really what we are all looking for in our relationship with others?

© Lokita Carter