Tantra is a way to transform the ordinary into the sacred. Most people think of Tantra as a path of excess that revolves around fancy sexual positions and orgies. The truth is that only about 20% of tantric practices relate to sexuality. The remaining 80%, considered tantric arts, are concerned with “ordinary” aspects of life such as conversational skills, cooking, singing, exercising, mowing the lawn and so forth. Tantrikas, those who practice Tantra, know that the ordinary moments hold the seed of ecstasy.
In our personal tantric practice we use four keys to transform our daily life into ecstatic living: ritual, communication, energy awareness and stillness.
The first key to the ecstatic life is ritual. Sharing a tantric ritual with your partner is a way to set aside the time for something special to occur. We begin a ritual with creating a “sacred space”, honoring each other, and then stating our intentions. We enter into sacred time in which a routine activity can be transformed into something new and exciting. Ritual is an excuse to be present in this moment and to let go of the past.
The second key is communication – a circle of giving and receiving, a balance of yin and yang. Being able to speak your truth and listening to another’s truth without judgment or agenda creates trust, and allows you to open your hearts and souls to each other in a much deeper way. This key opens the door to more fulfilled sexual intimacy and improved connections with others.
The third key is energy awareness. Our basic instinct is physical survival. To ensure this, we use raw energy. Since we are also blessed with the gift of consciousness, we have the possibility to use our finer energies to merge with the divine. When we harmonize these energies, the spiritual and the physical aspects of our life become balanced. Tantric practices are the key to grounded spirituality and the mystery we experience as the divine.
The fourth key is stillness. In stillness we get deeply relaxed and our sensory awareness is at its peak. Sexual and other agendas disappear. In this effortless state of being, less becomes more. The smallest moment expands into timelessness. This opens the doorway to our higher consciousness and our spiritual essence. We call this “relaxing into ecstasy”.
Using these four keys we recognize ourselves and those around us as divine, and embrace life as a celebration, integrating our spiritual and physical realties.
We create the safety, awareness and consciousness to use our senses through our tantric practice. This practice of integrating body, mind and soul is the practice of love. Love inspires the continuum of the subtlest energy to the grossest energy with complete acceptance and is the mystery we experience as divine.
The ordinary is transformed into an ecstatic, aware lifestyle, using ritual, communication, energy work and stillness – the four keys – making it possible to be fully present with all the senses.
I know that my partner can change her mind often about what she wants, and using clear communication fearlessly, I can flow through the changes with her. This is not always without its challenges but it works!