100 Moments of Intimacy
Lokita Carter

Most couples come to my coaching because they want to prioritize each other and their relationship. Overwhelmed with everyday responsibilities and obligations, they often feel disconnected from each other, and they have lost touch with why they came together in the first place. Making time for each other and focusing on the relationship has become a challenge for them rather than a pleasure.

"Life gets in the way", is a common phrase people use to describe this phenomenon. What life, I wonder? Life is always here, this is it! The circumstances are what gets in the way. Mind you, oftentimes you do not actually have the time to do a long tantric practice or spend hours making love.

What happens then? Your mind tells you that really, you should be doing your practice, you should connect with your partner, and if you don't do it, you have failed. You get grumpy and do not connect but instead turn away from your partner, so that you don’t have to see the disappointment and disconnection in their eyes; feelings that you probably both share. You give yourself a hard time for not making the time to reach out; for not having enough commitment to spending dedicated time together. A chasm opens up and you see your beloved far away over there on the other side.

I have been coaching my clients in various ways to dissolve this conundrum. Every couple is different, yet we somehow all are the same.

One way is to simply accept that it is so, and to stop fighting with what is. You do not make the time. Your relationship plays fourth or fifth fiddle in the symphony of your life. You are doing everything else but connecting with your partner. So it is. To accept this fact is its own special practice! In my experience, acceptance is often the first step towards change, so you might be surprised what happens when you simply accept the way things are.

Another way is to encourage the couple to give as many short moments a day to practicing intimacy as possible. Those moments add up. A moment of breathing together, of gazing at your partner with loving eyes. Of exchanging compliments. Of melting into a hug that last longer than 30 seconds. Of offering understanding and compassion. Of giving attention to them. Every single moment counts and these short moments add up. Can you be intimate with your partner 100 times a day?

Recently I guided a couple in an online coaching session through an abbreviated version of the Breath of Tantric Love, the powerful breathing practice that has become many couples’ favorite. It was morning, right before they went off to work. It was moving to witness them - now or never, was the flavor of this moment. They connected deeply very quickly. When the practice was over, they were astonished to learn that just 15 minutes had passed; it had been so effortless to let go of their resistance, to open their hearts, and to melt into the timelessness of their intimate connection. And now, after barely 15 minutes of looking into each other’s eyes, breathing together, embracing each other - their day took on a whole new dimension.

It is disheartening for me to see so many couples drift apart when in truth they want to be close, sharing love and intimacy. Life is so short! Really, this is what motivates me to continue teaching and coaching couples in Tantra: to share what I have learned from the many years of tantric partnership, from being on the spiritual path of Tantra since I was 15 years old, and from having gone through (and re-emerging from) the most traumatic, confronting yet transformative experiences of my life. To inspire you, too, to be fully awake to the privilege of being in life together.

My question for you is this - if you knew for sure that you were going to die tomorrow, would you be able to make time for your partner today?

If you want to dive deep with your beloved, study directly with Lokita Carter and get inspired by her, she is available for two more Tropical Tantra Coaching retreats in Costa Rica this year: Thanksgiving week Nov 23-30 and Dec 7-14.

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Upcoming Tropical Tantra® Coaching by Lokita Carter and other offerings by Ecstatic Living...

Tropical Tantra® Coaching with Lokita Carter

• Nov 23-30, 2019
• Dec 7-14, 2019
Montezuma, Costa Rica

Give yourself and your beloved the gift of undivided attention to one another during a week of paradise — improving your relationship, communication, sexual intimacy, heart connection — your spiritual life together. Join Lokita Carter for an exclusive and private Tropical Tantra Coaching program tailored to your specific needs, while enjoying a week in breathtaking Montezuma, Costa Rica. This is a rare opportunity to study in person with a leading teacher of SkyDancing Tantra.

For more info or to register by phone, call us at 707-987-3456. Or to simply register online, click here.

Ecstatic Touch™ (Level 2): The Art of Sexual Ecstasy

Sep 13-15, 2019
at EarthRise at IONS, CA

Experience Ecstatic Touch™ (Level 2): The Art of Sexual Ecstasy, a breathtaking experiential seminar that weaves together sensuality and spirituality into one. Conscious touch, ritual and communication are the foundations of this sensuous seminar. Through deepening our connection to ourselves, the difference between self and other dissolves into a flow of ecstatic energies. Come away with lifelong tools to increase intimacy and connection with yourself and others through the art of ecstatic touch. Open to partnered participants!

For more info or to register by phone, call us at 707-987-3456. Or to simply register online, click here.

Timeless Loving®: Intro to SkyDancing® Tantra

Oct 18-20, 2019
at Shalom Hill Farm, MN

Experience our critically acclaimed Timeless Loving: Intro to SkyDancing Tantra — designed for couples and singles ready for greater aliveness, love, and consciousness in their intimate relating and daily lives. Taught by certified SkyDancing Tantra Teachers, Timeless Loving will enrich your life and loving, expand your sexual energy and deepen the spiritual connection with yourself, your partner and life!

For more info or to register by phone, call us at 707-987-3456. Or to simply register online, click here.

The Love and Ecstasy Training (LET)®: Cycle 3

Nov 29-Dec 6, 2019
at EarthRise at IONS, CA

In the beautiful wilderness near San Francisco, experience The Love and Ecstasy Training (LET) Cycle 3 with direct lineage holders of Margot Anand's SkyDancing Tantra Cassidy Geppert & Mika Smith. Since its conception, tens of thousands of people worldwide have participated in The Love and Ecstasy Training (LET). The LET will change forever your experience of sexuality, spirituality and love, giving you the opportunity to explore how your sexual energy can heal your body, open your heart and expand your spirit to states of profound unity and bliss. The results are life-transforming and world-changing.

For more info or to register by phone, call us at 707-987-3456. Or to simply register online, click here.


Questions or for help to register, call 707-987-3456. Or to register online, click here.

© Lokita Carter