How to be Tantric outside of the Bedroom
Lokita Carter

QUESTION: How can I stay in a tantric space when I have a million business things on my mind?

ANSWER: To begin with, what is this tantric space you are referring to? What are its qualities? I hope that my following definition of “tantric space” resonates with you:

  • Being present with yourself, your partner and others around you;
  • Being connected to your senses and your body;
  • Practicing acceptance of what is;
  • Being in a state of relaxation and flowing with the energy of the moment;
  • Engaging in patient, loving communication with others, stating your truth and being clear about your boundaries;
  • Feeling the flow of energy throughout the whole body, with all chakras (energy centers) open;
  • Love.

If these are some of the qualities that define the tantric state of being for you, then rest assured, it is not so difficult to maintain!

Practice the art of being a “Watcher on the Hill”. Do not get too attached to the overwhelming amount of thoughts in your mind. Detach yourself! Rise above the thoughts, and practice using your mind as a tool rather than being consumed by it. There is a watcher (or witness) inside of you who notices what the mind is doing. Engage this witness!

When you have a seemingly insurmountable pile of things to think about and to do, do them one by one. Celebrate each task for the unique qualities it requires of you. Accept that your mind is overflowing with business stuff. Thank your mind for reminding (!) you and doing such a great job!

Connect to your senses, remind yourself to smell the flowers, to feel the cool breeze of the wind in your face. Listen to the sounds around you. In this way you disengage the identification with the mind and become present. When you eat, fully taste your food. Feel your body!

And when things don’t go the way you want them to go, practice acceptance. Something else is bound to happen before too long.

As you can see, the tantric space, the tantric way of being, extends into all areas of your life. Tantra is practiced with every inhale and every exhale. The sexual practices are a powerful way to get you to that exact point, because the mind can hook into them as something pleasurable. When you are at the height of a tantric orgasm, and you disappear into the bright light of energy, into the great oneness, you are 100% present with all the senses, the breath, your body, its sensations and the moment. And the mind disappears.

So, wherever you are, these suggestions can be used again and again, even when you make love and your brain gets busy!

And always, always remember love. Be love.

© Lokita Carter