Those moments when you can't contain yourself... When the experience of your life is so powerful that you feel like you're going to explode. So, you grabbed a pillow and screamed into it. Have you ever had moments like these?
But what was the nature of your screaming? An ecstatic rush of orgasm? Or, what about other powerful expressions of life? Expressions of birth, or death, of grief or anger, jealousy, frustration, and so on…
This brings me to one of three fundamental principles of Tantra I would like to share with you today… The first is that of acceptance, the acceptance of what is. There is a freedom in that, in accepting. But of course, it is not always easy to accept, to let go, and to finally embrace a situation as it is. But when one does, when one embraces existence just as it is, there is serenity to be found, bliss, and eventually, oftentimes, ecstasy —embracing your precious life just as it is in this moment of your existence.
Ecstasy to me doesn't necessarily just come from pleasure — it can come from the full spectrum of our most powerful emotions. Emotions, meaning "to emote", to let out, to express — into a pillow, or into the thrashing waves of a wild ocean. And when we let express from us this pent-up life within us, there is a serenity that is found… We are able to embrace the emptiness that remains. The emotion subsides and bliss can be found — like the calm after a storm, whether that storm is one of pleasure or pain or both.
But why scream into a pillow when we could do so unhindered into the open air? Well, to me, this brings me to another foundational principle of Tantra — consciousness. Consciousness is to be awake, as awake as we can, aware of our surroundings, aware of our impact on others (good and bad) through the tone of our voice, the selection of our words, the movements of our bodies, our thoughts, our actions in our lives, etc… And this consciousness is expressed through our care for others and our environment. To me, screaming our explosive moments of life into a pillow is much more conscious and caring than waking up the whole neighborhood.
As many of you have already heard, three weeks ago I lost my spirit wife and her 3-year old daughter to gun violence. This has been a very difficult time for me to say the least… And today, I can tell you, I am glad for my pillow. Today I am finding peace, serenity, and a newfound perspective on my life, the preciousness of it, the impermanence of it. On some days, I am feeling lightness in my heart, bliss in my breath, and greater purpose in being alive. Each moment.
And, as to the third fundamental principle of Tantra I want to share, remember this: life is breath, movement, and sound… So whether you are expressing yourself into a pillow, or making love with another, or washing the dishes by yourself, remember to breathe, to move, to make sound. That is the essence of life.
* * *