SkyDancing Tantra from the Female Perspective
Lokita Carter

One of my stepping stones on the path of SkyDancing Tantra has been a phrase coined by Margot Anand, “I am responsible for my own pleasure”. From my parents I learned that it was not okay to ask for what I want – sexually or otherwise. In their view, a female who did ask was a “slut”. Hence I grew up with the assumption that whatever my lover had to give, that’s as good as it was going to get.

When I started on the SkyDancing path, I learned that I did not have to limit myself to that conditioning. Through diligent practice and many healing sessions I overcame this early shaming and moved into a responsible relationship with my sexuality, thus creating more fulfilling experiences for myself and my partner in the bedroom, and overall.

In SkyDancing Tantra practice, the roles of giver and receiver are fluid. Usually, more often than not men consider themselves the giver, and women are the receiver. In our personal tantric practice, we switch roles, so that Steve explores the role of receiver, while I become the active giver. It is very healing for the man to lay down the traditional giver role, and be receptive, and for the woman to give to her man! Margot Anand’s Yin-Yang Game is the perfect practice for exploring this!

And, of course, I love being honored as a Goddess, a Shakti. What does that mean, exactly? Tantra teaches that each of us is a representation of the Divine, hence “Gods” and “Goddesses”. By embodying the qualities of the divine, we do not have to search outside ourselves for a “god” but we are actively living it. During the day I often remind myself that I am indeed a beautiful Goddess. As if by magic, any stress makes way for ease, relaxation and a deep joy. On top of that, when I appreciate myself as a Goddess, the men around me, particularly my husband, honor me as a Goddess as well! It is almost as if we are rising above the mundane everyday relating into a realm of witnessing where there is less reactivity and more responding. I love being a Goddess.

The spiritual tradition of Tantra honors the woman, the feminine, as the holder and teacher of the tantric secrets. SkyDancing Tantra was developed by a great goddess, Margot Anand, and it celebrates the equal partnership of men and women. It is inclusive of us all, and that’s another reason why I love it!

© Lokita Carter