Leading Tantra in private coaching retreats these past couple of months has been incredibly empowering. Having taught most previous events with my lovely Steve, at first it was quite daunting to do it alone. Yet here I was, in my beautiful Tantra space with my first coaching clients, all eyes on me, and nowhere to hide; fully exposed, alone, and in charge. No Steve by my side to break the ice, and make everyone feel comfortable with his special humor. Fortunately, after surfing that first wave of nervousness, my voice sounding a little trembly and way too fast to my ears, I got right back into the groove. I trusted Tantra. I trusted my experience.
The couples who came to Costa Rica to be with me were all looking for more depth and meaning in their relationship. They wanted to connect with each other. They wanted more fun, great sex, and spiritual meaning in their partnership. One couple just began retirement. Another couple celebrated their honeymoon, and another was looking to improve their sex life. I take my hat off to one adventurous couple, who, after being married for over 50 years, were excitedly ready for their exploration of Tantra; wow! And one couple, at the brink of separating, was hoping for a breakthrough that would revive their love and enjoyment of each other. Each of these couples had their special circumstances, and listening to them, feeling into them, I created a program that addressed exactly what they needed.
In a coaching retreat couples spend a lot of time together diving deep, yet there also are times for "self maintenance" during which we focus on ourselves. Let's face it: a relationship with another person is based on the relationship we have with ourselves. So, most mornings begin with an active meditation. With my tantradog Coco sitting at the entrance to our tantric temple, the couples let their emotions flow, dissolving old contractions, making space for the now, and new experiences.
Leading these meditations is a perfect opportunity for my own self-discovery, as well. I would wail, cry and celebrate, yet stay fully present to my clients and their needs. The only way for me to teach is to be authentic. Life is too short to put on a show! Being real invites others to join me. Always, the three of us emerged from the meditations radiant, fully alive and connected to ourselves, ready to explore what the new day would bring.
During communication practices the couple would ask each other questions about their relationship and intimacy they had never asked before. Often they would discover new aspects of their partner. When I asked them to practice their answers hands-on in the privacy of their room, they arrived at our next meeting with shiny eyes, very connected. Now and then, a challenge would appear. Perhaps a particular pattern in their relationship might have gotten activated, or some difficulty would present itself. Then we would talk it through, sometimes process it, and letting the powerful light of awareness shine on it so that the partners could remove the obstacle and open their hearts to sharing more love with each other and renew their commitment to their intimacy.
The three of us would sit together in our small circle, Coco right there beside us, speaking openly about sex, orgasms, pleasure, wishes and fears with our hearts and minds wide open. This is such a fantastic way to learn more about each other! Shame would arise on occasion, but being real with it in the safe circle of our coaching would dissolve it, and help to move on. Being real in that way is incredibly healing!
And then, being immersed in the luscious, tropical environment – the sultry warmth, the vibrant green of the foliage, the songs of the exotic birds, the erotic shapes of the flowers, the calling of the monkeys, the gentle ocean breeze… our body, our entire being is invited to relax into sensuous experiencing and letting go of everything else.
To my great joy, every couple left my tantric sanctuary ecstatic, with a new purpose, and in love with themselves, with each other and the whole. Their feedback included sentences like, "This was the best vacation ever", and "Our hopes for the time with you were more than fulfilled", and "Our experience with your coaching transformed us so deeply, it is beyond words". One couple even mentioned that after they returned home, their son was so amazed by the changes he saw in his parents that he opened his heart and shared with them some of the challenges he had been having in his own marriage. Perhaps we shall meet one day.
I am truly humbled that I am able to transmit a powerful message, a life vision with my teaching that inspires others, and I look forward to immersing myself in the next couple of coaching weeks that lie ahead with two more couples.
For the rest of this year I have two more coaching dates available: June 30-July 7, and December 15-22. Click here to read more. If you would like to spend a week with me in paradise in Costa Rica and have another date in mind, please contact me.
For those of you who knew Steve... Here’s a very sweet moment from my last coaching. I was describing to the couple an intimate tantric practice that he was going to receive, and she was going to give. Suddenly some sentences spilled out of my mouth that were completely not what I would normally say; I was telling her what she could do to give more pleasure to her partner. At that moment I realized that I had channeled Steve. I am not a big believer in channeling, but this was real. Even the couple noticed that something was different. I still have tears in my eyes recalling this moment. Steve lives on within me, in the teachings we developed in hundreds and hundreds of workshops. I am grateful.