Ecstatic Lover™:
Attraction & Discovery

Whether Romeo and Juliet, Rhett Butler and Scarlett O’Hara, Don Juan or Pepe le Pew, the archetype of "The Lover" remains strong in our psyches. The Lover conjures up a character who is crazy-charismatic, hypnotizes with romantic language and blazing kisses, someone who is fluent in the arts of lovemaking and gift-giving, someone who awakens passion, passion, and more passion. But what if this archetype could be learned? What if the Lover's qualities could be called into your own life? To bring you strength, passion, energy, and especially — to awaken in yourself an exceptional lover!

Open to everyone. No previous experience necessary.

Taught by certified sex & intimacy coaches and Tantra educators, Kai Wu & Xanet Pailet, the Ecstatic Lover: Attraction & Discovery seminar offers a unique experiential weekend of discovery — exploring the inner workings of the Lover's qualities — attraction, passion and desire, and how these qualities can cultivate strength, confidence and energy for yourself in your day to day life and your relationships in the areas of love, sex and partnership.

In a safe, loving and supportive environment, the Ecstatic Lover: Attraction & Discovery seminar offers a unique weekend of experiential learning in the areas of attraction, sexuality and intimacy. During this seminar, you will:

  • Learn how to become a more passionate, confident and skilled lover.
  • Experience more confidence, from the bedroom to the boardroom.
  • Experience being in the flow, and better connected with your partner.
  • Crack the code of what your partner really wants (what makes you a great lover). 
  • Discover forms of touch that will drive your partner wild.
  • Discover the secrets to how your lover likes to be loved.
  • Find and unleash your “Lover” archetype within yourself.
  • Discover how to connect to your own pleasure so you can help your partner connect to theirs.
  • Learn about the physiology of sexual arousal.
  • Identify patterns that may be holding you back so you can better connect to your sexual energy and passion.

Ecstatic Lover: Attraction & Discovery is designed for people who are ready for more aliveness, love, and consciousness in their relationships and intimate partnerships.

Open to everyone (solo and partnered participants). No previous experience necessary.

To register, choose a date from our calendar.
Frequently Asked Questions

No events currently scheduled. Please call us at 707-987-3456 for more information or check our events calendar.
"After doing many tantra workshops with Ecstatic Living, I decided to do [Ecstatic Lover™] and was thrilled to discover things I hadn't learned before - new perspectives on how to please a woman."
— K Kelkar (Los Angeles)
"I am an almost 70 year man who has been studying Tantra for about ten years. I am also a tough critic and not easily impressed. During this ten years I have attended a number of Tantra workshops through Ecstatic Living Institute and have never before been able to dive into my own sexuality as well and as profoundly as with the [Ecstatic Lover™] workshop taught last weekend by Xanet, Kai, with assistance by Corrine. The workshop created a sacred container of trust, openness, vulnerability and compassion, and is really for all Lovers, masters and others, who want to understand their sexuality as it is expressed in a relationship. This is an extraordinarily difficult subject for most...and the team was able to navigate superbly from the opening of a relationship through to a culmination of passion, all the while teaching about boundaries, trust and appreciation for the very complex world of sexuality. Through a number of experiential exercises that brought me into awareness of who I am sexually as never before, Xanet and Kai also helped me gain a much better understanding of the complex nuances of women in their love making. In a word, it was WONDERFUL. I am ever grateful to them for bringing this workshop to [us]."
—R Tallman (Singapore)
“Kai and Xanet worked well together and I appreciated their honesty, approachability, wisdom and presence. It was powerful to have the time, space and exercises to connect with my partner in new ways. I learned tools to help us stay connected and tapped into my own passion and desires. Thank you for your wonderful workshop!”
—Amber (Santa Cruz, CA)
“Kai and Xanet are skilled and knowledgeable as they are easy-going and compassionate. It was a day well-spent with my wife and other couples. Now it’s time to go home and have some real sex!”
—Paul Guido (Oakland, CA)
“Kai and Xanet are a great team. They’re both very loving and their workshops are wonderfully delivered.”
—J. King
“What a breath of fresh air and loveliness! Kai and Xanet are compassionate, intuitive and lovely to be around. Their workshop was excellent and I learned so much. It was both practical, spiritual and everything in between. Thank you!”
—44 year-old female, Marriage and Family Therapist
“Kai and Xanet have distilled a dozen techniques from cognitive psychology and tantra into a useful set of practices that all couples can benefit from.”
—Dr. George Baldwin, Professor of Social Psychology
“Kai and Xanet are masters at helping people get to the root of intimacy and their workshop was wonderful! They really helped us build a more solid foundation and helped us create the building blocks for our future. Thank you so much!”
—L. Fontella (Hayward, CA)
“[Everyone] in a restless, stale, disconnected relationship should take this class.”
—J. Adams (San Francisco, CA)
“[Ecstatic Lover™] literally changed my life. I lived in a virtually sexless marriage for over 10 years. Last night I used what I learned from you over the weekend and my wife couldn’t get enough of me. 15 minutes after we made love she came back for more. That never happened before. She was so happy she even told our couples’ therapist about it today.”
—B. McGuire (San Francisco)
“I learned a lot about women and myself and I feel like I have grown not just as a man but as a person as well. And my wife and I haven’t skipped a day of sex since the workshop! Thank you for the unforgettable experience.”
—W. Williams (Oakland, CA)