FAQs | Ecstatic Living Institute

Frequently Asked Questions

1. Who can participate in your events?

Our Ecstatic Living and SkyDancing Tantra events are open to people from all walks of life. We find that it is our diversity that makes us a beautiful and vibrant community.

Although our introductory weekend seminars and events are open to solo participants, most of our advanced weekend seminars and private events are only open to partnered participants. Most of our weeklong events are open to both partnered and solo participants.

Note: Within our Ecstatic Living community, the term "partnered" refers to configurations such as couples, triads, paired friends, etc.

2. If we participate as a couple, can we work together exclusively?

Yes, people who are partnered may work together exclusively in our Ecstatic Living and SkyDancing Tantra seminars and other events. The choice remains entirely yours to make and to revisit at anytime.

Near the beginning of each of our events, a time is set aside for all participants to share their intentions and boundaries with the group.

3. What if I'm single? Can I still participate?

Yes, our introductory Ecstatic Living and SkyDancing Tantra events are open to solo participants.

While most of our weeklong events are open to both solo and partnered participants, our advanced weekend seminars and private events are only open to participants who register together as partners. Therefore, we encourage solo participants (while they are participating in our introductory weekend events) to find the partners that they will need in order to participate in our advanced weekend seminars and private events.

Experiencing our Ecstatic Living and SkyDancing Tantra seminars as a solo participant allows you to develop tools that will enhance your self-awareness, self-love and future relationships. After each of our seminars, you can practice the exercises you learned by yourself as a meditation or with people you met in our Ecstatic Living community.

Here is a quote from Margot Anand that is pertinent to participating solo:

“Don’t count on sex to be the door to intimacy. It’s the other way around: first develop intimacy skills, then make love to enjoy them."

4. Are your events pair-balanced?

Our introductory weekend seminars are beautifully designed events that are organically formed and do not require an even number of people (sometimes called "pair-balancing" or "gender-balancing). These introductory events are community-focused and explore how our "solo" experience cultivates our connections to others (our partners, friends, family, and community). People who register together as partners for these events may choose to work exclusively together or with others.

Most of our advanced weekend seminars and private events are partner-balanced and are only open to people who register together as partners. Therefore, we encourage solo participants (while they are participating in our introductory weekend events) to find the partners that they will need in order to participate in our advanced weekend seminars and private events.

Note: Within our Ecstatic Living community, the term "partnered" refers to configurations such as couples, triads, paired friends, etc.

5. If I come as a single, will you provide me a partner?

In our introductory Ecstatic Living and SkyDancing Tantra seminars, an organic partnering takes place where solo participants are invited to partner-up with others in various group configurations.

Most of our advanced weekend seminars and private events are only open to people who register together as partners. Therefore, we encourage solo participants (while they are participating in our introductory weekend events) to find the partners that they will need in order to participate in our advanced weekend seminars and private events.

Note: Within our Ecstatic Living community, the term "partnered" refers to configurations such as couples, triads, paired friends, etc.

As a solo participant, we invite you to consider your intention for participating in our Ecstatic Living seminars and other events. Are you participating in the hopes of meeting your ideal partner? Are you looking for a casual acquaintance? Are you hoping to improve your relationship skills and attract more love into your life? All of these are beautiful intensions. Whatever your own intention may be, we encourage you to open your heart to all of your fellow participants for each one of them is your ally in realizing your dreams.

6. What are "partnered friends" or "paired singles”?

Since most of our advanced weekend seminars and private events are only open to people who register together as partners, solo participants (oftentimes while they are participating in our introductory weekend events) can choose to find the partners (known as "partnered friends" or "paired singles") that they will need in order to participate in our advanced partnered-only events.

Note: Within our Ecstatic Living community, the term "partnered" refers to configurations such as couples, triads, paired friends, etc.

7. Will there be nudity?

Some of our Ecstatic Living and SkyDancing Tantra seminars and other events may offer exercises and experiences where participants may choose to be partially or entirely undressed or fully clothed. Such as a massage practice where some participants may choose to be fully clothed, while others may choose to be partially or fully undressed, practices that you will learn in our Ecstatic Living seminars may be done in any state of un/dress. Our events create an atmosphere of safety amongst all participants, allowing you to explore at your own rhythm.

8. Will there be sex?

Our introductory Ecstatic Living and SkyDancing Tantra seminars do not involve sexual activity.

Our advanced seminars may include hand-to-genital touching (if so desired by the parties involved). In such cases, "safe sex" practices are required and strictly observed.

There is no explicit sexual activity such as sexual intercourse or oral sex in any of our seminars.

9. Are Ecstatic Living and SkyDancing Tantra seminars just about sex?

Just like life is not all about sex, Tantra is not all about sex. The same goes for Ecstatic Living and its teachings.

Many of our Ecstatic Living seminars focus on the spiritual teachings of Tantra (most often on the SkyDancing Tantra lineage) which is definitely much more than “just sex”. Sex is an aspect of Tantra just like sex is an aspect of life. Tantra is a spiritual path that embraces everything in our lives, including our sexuality. The focus of our Ecstatic Living seminars is to offer tools and methods that you can integrate into your life to live more intimately and ecstatically in and out of the bedroom.

There is no explicit sexual activity such as sexual intercourse or oral sex in any of our seminars.

10. What if I'm uncomfortable doing an exercise?

Your participation in any of the exercises we invite you to participate in during our Ecstatic Living and SkyDancing Tantra seminars, and the level at which you participate in these exercises, is entirely up to you. Although we know from experience that the more you participate with your fellow participants, the more you will benefit from our seminars and cultivate valuable relationships, we understand that only you can determine how much or how little of your participation is good for you. While stretching yourself will support your learning process and your overall experience, over-extending yourself can be counterproductive.

While we recommend that you immerse yourself in the group environment during our guided sessions, if for whatever reason you do not wish to fully participate in any exercise, especially in our advanced seminars that involve more intimate practices, you may choose to participate to a lesser degree or not at all. Then, after the session is complete, you may choose to practice the exercise with or without a partner in the privacy of your own lodging.

11. May I partner-up with the same gender?

Yes, you are most welcome to partner-up with anyone you wish.

Since many of our participants identify as heterosexual, we have found that same-gender partnering or other LGBT+ partner configurations are easiest for those who arrive to our Ecstatic Living and SkyDancing Tantra seminars and other events in a partnered (dyad, triad, etc) configuration rather than as solo participants.

12. Are your events open to people from the LGBT+ community?

Yes, our Ecstatic Living and SkyDancing Tantra seminars and other events warmly welcome people who identify as LGBT+

Since many of our participants identify as heterosexual, we have found that same-gender partnering or other LGBT+ partner configurations are easiest for those who arrive to our seminars and other events in a partnered (dyad, triad, etc) configuration rather than as solo participants.

13. Do you offer private instruction?

Yes, for partnered or solo people who prefer to learn the teachings of Ecstatic Living and SkyDancing Tantra in a private setting rather than in a seminar setting, our professional coaches are available for bookings. For more information, click here.

14. Does your private instruction offer hands-on work?

Our professional coaches reveal to you techniques and tools to become more intimate with yourself and your partner. In their professional role, our Ecstatic Living coaches do not offer hands-on work.

As per the SkyDancning Tantra Ethical Guidelines, our SkyDancing Tantra Coaches are not available to touch clients or engage with them in any form of sexual activity.

15. What sort of things are we going to do?

Our Ecstatic Living and SkyDancing Tantra seminars are experiential in nature, and offer several teaching components including: lectures and demonstrations offered by the teachers, oftentimes followed by exercises to be practiced by yourself or in partnered configurations; small group exercises that usually involve 3-5 people in each group, and; full-group exercises. Most of our seminars also involve meditation, at least once each morning.

16. What is the general age-range of people in your seminars?

Our Ecstatic Living and SkyDancing Tantra seminars and other events attract people from all walks of life and a wide range of ages. Our oldest participants were a couple in their early 80′s, and our youngest was a woman who just turned 18. The practices are designed to allow people of all ages to participate fully. We do not dictate who registers for our seminars and other events, hence we won’t know the average age until we meet the group. It usually fluctuates somewhere between 30 and 55.

17. What is “indoor camping”?

Some of our Ecstatic Living and SkyDancing Tantra seminars and events take place at venues that allow participants a low-cost lodging option known as "indoor camping". This option is much like outdoor camping except a tent is not required since you will be sleeping indoors (usually in the main seminar room). Although this is a popular option, keep in mind that it does not offer the same privacy as outdoor camping and other lodging options. If you are choosing "indoor camping", you will need to bring your own bedding and sleeping mattress. If you are flying in, you are welcome to call the office at 707-987-3456 to inquire about other options.

18. What music, books, DVD's, etc., do you recommend?

During many of our Ecstatic Living and SkyDancing Tantra seminars, we offer a wide variety of recommended books, instructional DVD's, active meditations on CD, and more for sale. At this time, we do not offer an online store.

19. Do you offer discounts or scholarships for those who need financial assistance?

Although we do not offer discounts to register for our Ecstatic Living and SkyDancing Tantra seminars and other events, our graduate members can save themselves and others money through our various community programs including our voucher program, affiliate program and assisting program.

If you are new to our Ecstatic Living community and would like financial assistance to register for any of our seminars, you may wish to apply for a partial scholarship through the Ecstatic Living Scholarship Fund. To learn more, click here.

20. What if I have more questions?

If you have any other questions about our Ecstatic Living and SkyDancing Tantra teachings, or would like assistance to register for any of our upcoming seminars, events, retreats or advanced trainings and certifications, feel free to contact us. We are happy to hear from you!

Useful links

Join our community

Get in touch