FAQs | Ecstatic Living Institute

Frequently Asked Questions

I heard that Tantra is all about sex. Will there be sexual activity in the workshop?

In most of our sacred sexuality workshops, our focus is on the teachings of SkyDancing Tantra.

Tantra is much more than “just sex”. Just like life is not all about sex, Tantra is not all about sex. Sex is an aspect of Tantra just like sex is an aspect of life. Tantra is a spiritual path that embraces everything in our lives, including our sexuality. The focus of our sacred sexuality workshops is to offer tools and methods that you can integrate into your life to live more ecstatically in and out of the bedroom. There is no explicit sexual activity such as intercourse or oral to genital contact in our workshops.

If we participate as a couple, can we work together exclusively?

Yes, you can. The choice is entirely yours. Towards the beginning of each workshop, there is time set aside for all participants to share their intentions and boundaries with the group.

Is it ok to sign up as a single?

Yes. Exploring the path of Tantra as an individual allows you to develop tools that will enhance your self-awareness, self-love, and future relationships. After the workshop, you can practice the exercises you learned by yourself as a meditation or with another Tantric partner you might meet in the workshop.

Here is a quote from Margot Anand that is pertinent to this question:

“Don’t count on sex to be the door to intimacy. It’s the other way around: first develop intimacy skills, then make love to enjoy them”.

If I come as a single, will you provide a partner for me?

There are always the same number of men and women present in our workshops to ensure a practice partner of the opposite gender for everyone. We do not pair you with another person, but you choose each other in specially designed partnering processes before each practice.

The most important thing to remember is your intention for participating in our workshop. Are you participating in the hope to meet the perfect soulmate? Or are you looking for a casual acquaintance? Are you hoping to improve your relationship skills and attract more love and better communication into your life? Whatever your intention is, we encourage you to open your heart and see all other participants as the god and goddess they truly are. Everyone who comes to a workshop is your ally.

Are your workshops gender-balanced?

Yes, except for those workshops that do not require it, all of our workshops are gender-balanced. We always ensure an equal number of men and women present so that there is partner for everyone to work with. For this reason, we appreciate singles registering early.

What kinds of things are we going to do in the workshop?

Our workshops are experiential in nature, and offer several teaching components. There will be a lecture and demonstration component offered by the teachers, oftentimes followed by exercises to be practiced by yourself or with your partner. There will also be small group exercises that usually involve 3-5 people in each group. And there will also be full-group exercises. Most of our workshops also involve meditation, at least once each morning.

Will there be nudity?

Especially in many of our sacred sexuality workshops, some exercises are offered where participants may choose to be partially or entirely undressed, or fully clothed. In these workshops, the Tantric practices that you will learn may be done in any state of un/dress, creating an atmosphere of safety amongst all participants and allowing you to explore the Tantric path at your own rhythm.

What are “paired singles”?

In addition to couples being welcome to our workshops (except for singles-only workshops), most of our workshops are also open to singles. But, depending on the level of intimacy involved in a workshop, some of our more advanced workshops may not be suitable for singles. For this reason, we offer singles the option to register with another single as "paired singles".

Paired singles are participants who might have registered together as platonic friends, or they met in a previous workshop and have decided to pair-up for the purpose of taking more workshops together.

Do you offer discounts or scholarships for those who need financial assistance?

We do not offer discounts to our workshops. However, those who hope for financial assistance to register for one of our workshops may apply for a scholarship with the Ecstatic Living Scholarship Fund. To learn more, click here.

What is the general age group in the seminars?

Our workshops attract people from all walks of life and a wide range of ages. Our oldest participants were a couple in their early 80′s, and our youngest was a woman who just turned 18. The practices are designed to allow people of all ages to participate fully. We do not dictate who registers for our events, hence we won’t know the average age until we meet the group. It usually fluctuates somewhere between 30 and 55.

May I choose to participate with a partner of the same gender?

Yes, you may choose to participate in any of our workshops with a partner of the same gender. However, in some exercises we recommend that you partner with a person of opposite gender (unless you came to the workshop with your same-gender life partner).

Are your workshops open to same-gender couples and singles in the LGBTQ community?

Yes, all of our workshops warmly welcome same-gender couples and singles in the LGBTQ community.

Since many of our workshops involve partnering, we recommend that same-gender couples contact us prior to registering for any of our workshops to discuss with us any hopes and expectations you might have and to ensure that you get the most from your workshop experience. If you identify as LGBTQ and wish to participate in any of our workshops as a single person, please contact us prior to registering so that we can explain your partnering options.

What if I am uncomfortable doing an exercise during a workshop?

Your participation in any of our workshop exercises, and the level at which you participate, is entirely up to you. Although we know from experience that the more you participate in the group, the more you will benefit from our workshops and cultivate valuable relationships with your fellow participants, we understand that only you can determine how much or how little of your participation is good for you. While stretching yourself will support your learning process and your overall experience, over-extending yourself can be counterproductive.

While we recommend that you immerse yourself in the group environment during our guided sessions, if for whatever reason you do not wish to fully participate in any workshop exercise, especially in our advanced sacred sexuality workshops that involve more intimate Tantric practices, you may choose to participate to a lesser degree or not at all. Then, after the workshop session, you may choose to practice the exercise with or without your partner in the privacy of your own lodging.

Are you available for hands-on work in your private Tantra coaching sessions?

Our professional SkyDancing Tantra Coaches offer you techniques and tools to become more intimate with yourself and your partner, and to discover more about SkyDancing Tantra. In their professional role, our SkyDancing Tantra Coaches do not offer hands-on work. As per the SkyDancning Tantra Ethical Guidelines, our SkyDancing Tantra Coaches are not available to touch clients or engage with them in any form of sexual activity.

Do you offer Tantra coaching for singles?

Yes, our professional SkyDancing Tantra Coaches are available for private Tantra coaching for singles and couples. For more information, click here.

Will there be genital contact?

Our introductory sacred sexuality workshops, such as our Timeless Loving: An Introduction to SkyDancing Tantra which is focused on the exploration of breath, energy and communication, do not involve genital contact. However, if you and your partner establish your boundaries that include genital contact, it is your prerogative to include it when appropriate.

Our more advanced sacred sexuality workshops may include hand-to-genital contact if so desired by both parties. In all Ecstatic Living workshops, the practice of safe sex is required, and strictly observed.

What is “indoor camping”?

At some of our workshop venues we offer a low-cost lodging option known as "indoor camping", which is much like outdoor camping except a tent is not required since you will be sleeping indoors (usually in the main workshop room). This is a popular option, but does not offer the same privacy as outdoor camping and other lodging options. If you are choosing "indoor camping", you will need to bring your own bedding and sleeping mattress. If you are flying in, you are welcome to call the office at 707-987-3456 to inquire about other options.

What music, books, DVD's, etc., do you recommend for learning more about Tantra?

During many of our workshops, we offer a wide variety of recommended books, instructional DVD's, active meditations on CD, and more for sale. At this time, we do not offer an online store.

What if I have more questions?

If you have any other questions, or would like assistance to register for any of our workshops, feel free to contact us. We are happy to hear from you!

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